The Grumpy Room

This is for all the people who want to better understand what it is like to live in New Hampshire. In some ways it is eerily accurate.

Tonight is the Super Bowl, and you know what that means: COMMERCIALS! Sadly the last couple years I feel like the commercials haven’t been that great. Some have been amusing, but they just didn’t do it for me honestly. This could in part be because the advertisers have yet to beat my all-time favorite commercial for Reebok.

Terry Tate: Office Linebacker is awesome. This particular video is not the official Super Bowl ad, which was only 60 seconds long and contained no swearing. You can check it out here. For more Terry Tate hilarity check out The Return of Terry Tate. You can even watch Terry take down Sarah Palin.

What is your all-time favorite Super Bowl ad?

My girlfriend reminded me today of a product for acid reflux called AcipHex and a completely awesome TV commercial we have both seen. Now I am all for medicine and things that will help people, but seriously I think companies need to hire employees with an ounce of common sense. Consider this one. When you read it everything seems perfectly fine. What if I told you the pH is an f sound and the c is a soft c? So now you have a product called Ass Effects, or AssFX if you are super cool like that.

I mean did these people listen to the name of their product any of the TWO HUNDRED MILLION times they said it during the development process? Maybe it was developed by a bunch of 12-year-old boys who thought it would be a funny inside joke. Or a bunch of scientists who act like 12-year-old boys. Either way, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?

Then again maybe the stuff works because it has the same stuff they use in Olestra-based potato chips (I always thought having WOW on the chips was suspicious, perhaps it was just a subtle hint).

I just recently learned about the web series The Legend of Neil. The Legend of Neil is a story about a guy who gets drunk one night and ends up trapped inside of the world of Hyrule from The Legend of Zelda. He finds himself playing the role of Link and begins his quest to escape from the game with amusing results.

The show is absolutely hysterical. Examples:

Neil: I’m Ne…wait princess? Like Zelda? Is she hot?
Old Man: Yes she’s fuckable. She’s like a 7, 7 and a half. Although you only look to be a 6, or a 5.

Neil: This thing is a piece of crap.
Old Man: Hey fuck you! That crap is free, I made it. You ungrateful shit.

Fairy: I’m not all tits like the princess you know.

Neil: Aw you bag of dicks! COME ON!

It helps that I remember playing Zelda as a kid and how pissed off I would get when I would get killed off by some stupid little shit wizrobe or whatever. Ah memories. In addition to an irreverent spin on the classic game, the show features some great characters like Old Man (no it’s Old man) and featuring Felicia Day as a sex-crazed fairy. What else do you need?

The Oatmeal is another really hilarious website I keep an eye on created by Matthew Inman. Personally I think this should be required reading for all my students. I don’t claim to be perfect but is it really THAT HARD to write in English? Perhaps another one of my favorite comics from The Oatmeal is about fixing computers. I know this has happened to me before and I suspect that I have probably done it to other people. For those whose knowledge I abuse I am very sorry. Do not expect the abuse to stop however.

And I’m back. Well back online anyway, and that means blog posts. During the holiday season I found myself making several trips to Walmart for various gifts, supplies, food and snack items, and just for plain ol’ fun. There is an interesting phenomenon about shopping at Walmart I have noticed over the years. The busier the store, the more interesting the characters you can expect to see. And I don’t mean interesting like “look over there it’s Megan Fox making out with Kristen Bell” interesting, I mean interesting like this. People of Walmart is a site with a very simple premise: a satirical social commentary of the extraordinary sights found at America’s favorite store. I’ll warn you now it is quite disturbing and you’ll probably have a hard time tearing yourself away, much like watching a horrible car crash unfold. You can’t help but admire the awesome, and perhaps it will inspire your outfit when planning your next trip to Walmart as well.

So I haven’t been here that long and already I am fearing for my life. I guess yesterday somebody decided to reprogram several construction message boards around UF to warn citizens of the zombie attack taking place on campus.

According to this article by the Gainesville Sun, there was in fact no zombie attack. It is possible that this is just simply a government cover-up and I should be very, very scared. This isn’t the first time the University of Florida has had to deal with zombie plans. Earlier this semester the e-Learning Support Services department published several disaster planning scenarios including DR5, a plan for a zombie attack. This plan was quickly yanked off of the web after receiving national attention. Feel free to check out the plan here. Sadly despite all these zombie problems, UF still does not have a shotgun or chainsaw on their list of suggestions for incoming freshmen.

Sometimes the classics are the best.

I was raised on the dairy, BITCH! This makes me want ice cream.

Another really amusing website I like to peruse on occasion is Emails From Crazy People. Some of these people are pretty out there. In some cases you have to click on Read More to get to the entire email conversation, however it is usually worth it. Is it just me or have people completely forgotten the art of things such as grammar, spelling, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation? Is it really that hard to write an email that makes sense? I mean I realize some of these people are bat-shit insane, but is that really a good reason to forgo proper communication habits? I wonder if cell phones and texting are to blame. Why bother using capitalization or full words whn u can wrte ur peepz 2 tlk this way? Kthxbye.

Order Of The Stick is a completely awesome stick figure webcomic drawn and written by Rich Berlew. It features a wacky band of adventurers on an epic quest. Much of the comic’s humor centers around the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 3.5 edition rules. I think the last time I played AD&D was with the 2nd edition, so I don’t always get it, but it is still most hilarious. Belkar is my homeboy.